Can you guess what my #1 favorite thing to do on an Ignore call is?

H O U S E W O R K.

I hate doing housework, and phone servants can't exactly do that for me. Besides, I've attempted to find a good house slave quite a few times and sadly discovered that naked men do a lousy job of cleaning anything. They're thinking too much about their dicks and what "rewards" they might get. So my solution is that you - the naked slave with a dick - calls me for some Ignore time while I do my own tidying, essentially paying me to do what *you* should be doing for me! If you're lucky, you'll hear me change my sheets, which is pretty much as sexy as housework gets, lol. I also enjoy using the time for things like rearranging my closet, cleaning my shoes and putting them back on the shoe tree, clearing off my bathroom vanity and sinks, that sort of thing. I may even throw in a little Swiffer action, and let you know so you can envision some kind of kinky mop-pole dance. Heh.

Now how about my #2 favorite thing to do on an Ignore call?

PLAY WITH MY P O O C H.

No that's not a typo for "cooch" - admit it, you were hoping it was. Noooo, you get to hear how I quite literally treat a prized pet, with all my silly nicknames for her and everything. Will that stir up feelings of jealousy? I hope so! In fact, if you contact me *before* the call, I could even arrange for you to join us on a walk to make you really wish you were the collared bitch on my leash instead of her!

What do I love about Ignore calls?

I'm not sure why this is even a phenomenon, but something unexpected and hysterical pops up on 4 out of 5 ignore calls. Sometimes it's sexy, like catching the neighbor rubbing himself against a utility meter. And sometimes not, like when I was reading an article out loud to bore the ignoree, and then hear him chime in, "oh, I have that credit card, it's great!" These calls are like some kind of invitation for the weird and wacky to happen, and I love it. So be a good boy, and make it happen with me!